Rooftop Sunset

I went to a rooftop wine and cheese gathering yesterday evening in Brooklyn.  Many of the other attendees were couchsurfers; from Puerto Rico, Australia, China, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, and Austria who somehow winded up on this rooftop with me.  I sat on my own and watched the sunset over Manhattan to the west.  The night air was perfect and stirred the anticipation for summer in this new, crazy city.  The sky turned beautiful colors, blue, pink, purple.  When the sky turned it's deep blue, we laid on our backs and saw a handful of stars shine through the light pollution of the city.  Fireworks went off in the distance near the Statue of Liberty.

 

I have been so stricken by tragedy in the past days.  A police investigator called me yesterday.  He asked about Patrick, a young man from Long Island who recently moved to the city.  Patrick was supposed to look at the uptown apartment I am going to try to move into about a month from now.  Patrick is now a missing person.  Although I hardly knew Patrick, this strange event makes me think of all the people who are close to me.  Shortly after, I got a phone call from a friend, who was slow to tell me he was in the hospital after being in a bad accident.  At first, I could hardly handle the news.  I felt scared to even leave the house, but if I stayed home I would have driven myself crazy.  I try to appreciate the things that are right in my life even more when other things go wrong.

 

As we pick from a smorgasbord of cheeses and other delicacies, taste wines from all over the world, and exchange stories of backpacking, our rooftop seems so surreal.  We speak of 9-11, a common New York topic, very aware of the open space that used not to have been there.  Our host watched the whole thing happen from this very rooftop nearly eight years ago.  We seem to be in the center of the world, a dozen or so people come together for good company and good (and bad) wine.

 

A girl from Austria is in town on internship.  She is working for a social organization that is putting together a report on the public housing situation in New Orleans.  She tells me of the hundreds of people, eighty percent of which are women, many with children who have been evicted from their homes from developers planning to build luxury apartments.

 

I think, how lucky are we?  How small are our problems?  Mine seem so overwhelming at the moment, but I know the world can be a beautiful place.  I have people who love me, and I love them.  I am known for buying last minute flights to wherever I desire.  I have a place to rest my head and good friends to show me around anywhere in the world I may end up. The day prior I walked along Brighton Beach for the first time, had a backstage pass at the Lupe Fiasco-NERD concert, and woke up in the Sheraton across the Hudson in New Jersey.  Today I will go to an antiquities dealer’s gallery, touch real mummies and other ancient artifacts, and be treated with more wine and cheese.  Then I plan to go see my friend that was in the accident in a hospital in the Bronx after his surgery.

 

I have been tested in the past days beyond anything I would have ever have imagined, but how could I look out over the East River, Downtown Manhattan, the Empire State Building, and the Verrazano Bridge and not feel a certain serenity?  Life is full of ups and downs.  The year was starting off fabulously.  I made the move to New York, taking a month to meander around the country before arriving.  I spent nights in over a dozen cities and a day in Mexico.  I took a last minute trip to Puerto Rico with a girl I hardly knew at the time.  Now I find myself at a point in my life when I am being tested.  I try to keep my head held high and work on myself as a person.  Sometimes I feel scared, weak, and untrusting of the world around me.  Those that know me see me as strong, independent, and level headed.  I try to remind myself of how lucky I really am.

 

I have to thank my friends for always being there for me.  I feel safe because I know if I fall I will have a multitude of hands to pick me up.  You soothe me with your conversation and make me smile when there are tears in my eyes.  You give me so much, and there is not enough I could do to express my gratitude for you.

 

I was once told New York would “kill my soul.”  Although I knew this was mostly meant as a joke, I took it to heart and pledged to constantly make sure my soul would remain intact.  I am constantly trying to better myself and learn from my mistakes and those of the people around me.  What can I do to somehow improve the lives and overall well-being of others?  What can any one of us do?  I fail when I take the easy road, so I must constantly challenge myself to go outside my comfort zone.  I find that I am a better, stronger, more productive person than I was five years ago, or even five months ago, and although I know I have a long way to go, I am proud of that.

 

As I look out onto the sunny day, I am full of hope and love.  Don’t we all have so much to be thankful for?  I will enjoy this day.